The Magic of Being Witnessed

Why your long-term connections matter

The longer someone knows you, the more they see you change.

I had a connection call with a high school friend recently, and we talked about religion, cults, evolution, science, and other forces that intersected with our lives.

Back when we met, I was a quiet Christian kid who’d been trained to silently judge the people around me. I was living in an abusive home, and school was my escape. And this week, 16 years after we last saw each other, we were able to reflect on what we’ve witnessed in each other’s lives and journeys via social media.

Facebook is far from perfect, but I’m grateful for the ways it’s helped me stay connected with certain people from my past. There is unspeakable magic in being witnessed on your growth path. My years of questioning, evolving, and healing had a meaningful impact on this friend, even when we weren’t directly in touch. The fact that I’d inspired her over the years felt big and profound—something heavy and beautiful between us, a bridge from past to present.

As I develop the new iteration of my group vulnerability program, those are the kinds of long-term connections I want to form—not just with me, but among the participants. Having a place where you can open up, practice deep connection, and be seen as you grow yourself and deepen your relationships? That’s priceless. Those spaces have been the most incredible part of my own path… and yes, while I’m quite open on social media, I do have more private communities where I’ve been more real and more exposed.

I’d love to talk to you this week! Can you schedule a connection call and let me know what’s on your mind?

Much love,

Nat

PS. I don’t talk much about my selfie project on this newsletter, but I’m running a one-of-a-kind special over there! I’m offering a free 7-day pass to my supporter page, which is filled with hundreds of intimate photos as well as poetry, essays, videos, and more. Plus, there’s a bonus if you join a lifetime membership!